Living in Gratitude

Celebrating God’s goodness, even in the smallest blessings!

After my wedding, I started using a blessing box! I bought a box made of recycled paper and dried leaves. I personalized it… I designed it. This box contains all the things I feel grateful for, all the blessings I received (big and small I love them all!)

I want to continue being grateful and fully embrace an attitude of gratitude in all areas of my life. I believe this is the best way to combat negative emotions such as unhappiness, feelings of discontent and regrets.

“Gratitude creates happiness because it makes us feel full, complete; gratitude is the realization that we have everything we need, at least in this moment…”

The decision to live in a joyful expectation is one of the hardest decisions to uphold. Over time, we accumulate a lot of experiences – joyful and difficult ones. It helps a lot to carry on when we take a bigger view and remain fearless and hopeful amidst the difficult situations. Writing and knowing is far easier than doing and committing. But I am convinced… Gratitude is the key! Everything falls into place if we commit ourselves to it! If we focus our thoughts and energy on the things we are thankful for, we create an internal world of joy and hope. And without much effort, we are able to deal with adversities and feelings of fear and anger.

I want to say “thank you, Jesus” in my daily life. I have started it before and I feel the need to keep up with it. I want to believe that at this time in my life, I am threading a difficult path.

I haven’t realized this but gratitude consumes our energies in the most positive way. I believe that every person has experienced receiving a gift! A gift in its physical aspect for example (a birthday gift or anniversary gift) gives delight more than you can imagine! With the right attitude, we experience these joyous stages: (1) The anticipated feeling of receiving a gift, (2) the feeling of actually receiving the gift, (3) the gift itself and (4) the memory of having received it.

Now, what more when we are gifted with joyful moments, opportunities, loving concern, and shared memories? It’s definitely a lot more fantastic and fulfilling to go through those stages!

And so I shall work my way to develop a grateful heart and maintain thankfulness in my daily life for it is in doing so that I will be more focused on joy, optimism, faith and trust!

Tonette, living in gratitude!

But MOTHERHOOD is my most important role in life!

Why do I usually disrupt my schedule for Abbie?
Because I’m her mother and she’s my daughter.
She’s more important than all my work.
She’s more important than all my personal to-do lists
She’s more important than my routines and tasks
Nothing compares with her!

Today, I am embracing this philosophy as a mother!

“PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS! Your WORK will ALWAYS be THERE. BUT YOUR KIDS WON’T. They’ll GROW UP, have their OWN LIVES, and WALK AWAY. When you age, you’ll always treasure your time with your kids. You’ll always wish that you spent more time with them.”

Ooouch… but this one holds true. We are all operating on a limited time when it comes to our kids. They grow up so fast! This is the appropriate time to take advantage of their clingy tendencies and their dependence on us. Child development tells us that there is a “superstar” for each stage of development. At this stage, family is the most significant, most influential persons to them. Soon she will enter school and become more concerned with peer relationship, hobbies and other interests.

This is my time. So while I am the Superstar and the Megastar in this season of my child’s life, I will make the most out of it! I will shine my star and grab every opportunity to hold her, hug her, play with her and laugh with her! i love you abbie! mwuah!

jumpstart to a healthier lifestyle

I am making a decision to start living healthily, not solely for my own sake but for the sake of my darling daughter abbie! Life is what we make out of it. We are products of our daily habits. And so I am committing myself to establishing better habits than overeating, slouching, sleeping late, and getting up late (a real daunting task for me), and even procrastinating! Below are the things I’ve started doing and continuously commit to do:

1. thinking healthy, lovely, wonderful, happy thoughts (as peter pan told wendy that happy thoughts will lift you into the air and make you fly!) ‘-) well this is not an easy task but with hope in my heart, I am able to take things lightly and see the brighter side of things. There are stressors, sometimes they’re massive, sometimes provoking, but I know I am bigger than them. After all, happy people are generally healthier than unhappy people.

2. Praying about my concerns and leaving them all to SFJTD box (Something For Jesus To Do)! After all my body is not meant for severe stress! (as my friend posted on her FB wall today: “LESSON 21: DISMISS ALL ANXIETY. Bills? Health? Family? Relationships? Work? DISMISS ALL ANXIETY. Finances? Weight? Appearance? Past? Present? Future? DISMISS ALL ANXIETY. Deadlines? Goals? Things to do? Unfinished business? Indecision? Depression? DISMISS ALL ANXIETY. You think too much. God is in charge.").

3. Convincing myself that consistency or discipline to workout on a regular basis is the key to achieving healthy body! According to studies, it takes 30 days to establish a habit, I am trying to develop a habit so I that going to the gym will be automatic! As of now, I still need to condition myself and patiently encourage myself in the morning to workout! I get to work out 2 to 3 times a week!

4. Keeping a to-do list all the time! Small errands, major goals, weekly plans, office matters, medical check-up, visit to pedia, car maintenance, things to buy, payables, etc. I put them all to writing and free myself from troubles of forgetting!

5. Taking supplements and choosing healthy drinks (alkaline water, soya milk, apple cider vin. cocktail, grape juice, apple carrot juice, fresh milk, cereal drink, white tea, milk tea, green tea!)

6. Sleeping like a baby! Whether it’s a 7 hour or 4 hour sleep, I am able to get a good sleep through the night.

7. And the best of all, playing with our 2 yr old abbie! Bil and I believe we are losing a lot of calories during play time. And we love it so much! Night time is play time. And, weekends are best! It doesn’t matter if I don’t get to rest a lot during these days as long as I get to bring the whole family together for bonding time (hapi day in cavite - as we term it)! Driving is therapeutic! (I like to think so) but it’s better when bill has no work during weekends because it means getting a good break from driving and enjoying the passenger class!

the right investment!

For my little abbietot, I am trying to find ways to make her feel so loved and adored. I am investing a lot in her emotional development. This means playing with her daily, telling bedtime stories (even inventing some), listening to her and literally being with her. What else? Adjusting my schedule, prioritizing our play time, devoting my weekends to her, setting up a “hapi day” (a bonding time for the whole family), and a lot more! As a toddler, she is already capable of surprisingly deep and intense emotions which include feelings of fear, anger as well as heights of joy and excitement! She knows how to communicate how she feels but seems to be “melting down” every time we refuse to give what she demands (something perfectly normal for her stage)

A strong emotional foundation is what I am aiming at. We have a long way to go since this developmental task is normally achieved by the end of preschool years. When she enters school, she must be prepared for more complex emotions like feelings of pride, embarrassment, guilt and others. So as parents, we are faced with a great challenge. We have to know how significant our role is. We can’t just watch our child grow and be silent observers or viewers. We have to be in charge!

I know that abbie’s relationship with me as her mother and her relationship with her father, grandparents, and the rest of the family will affect all aspects of her development - intellectual, social, emotional, physical, behavioral and moral. The quality of relationships will lay foundation for a wide range of later developmental outcomes that really matter like self-confidence, motivation to learn, achievement in school, and empathy for others.

With this knowledge, I am motivated to take more seriously the kind of relationship I have with my baby (oh she’s no longer a baby), my little girl! Undoubtedly, making time with the things that matter most in life should be a priority!

My Life Coaches… I thank God for you!

Today I was led to thank God for all the TEACHERS in my life. I’d just like to honor some of them: MS. BELMES, my grade one teacher who taught me the value of obedience and confidence. MRS. LANZUELA, my grade three adviser who taught me to be studious and patient. MS. BULANADI, my grade five adviser and English teacher who encouraged me to overcome timidity and participate in class. MRS. LYDIA CRISTOBAL, my 2nd year high school adviser, the one who believed in me and saw the potential beyond my pasaway behavior. She boosted my self-esteem through her appreciation of my work and positive reinforcement. MR. GEORGE ARELLANO, my religious education professor in college, is undoubtedly my inspiration. His wit impressed me and enthuse me to keep on believing and achieving. My cousin ARNEL GEDANG who taught me to share my time and talent with the church and community and thereby showed me how serving others can be both fun and fulfilling! Mrs. LOURDES SOLINAP, my co-counselor in my first job who taught me about the practical side of life, accepting realities, simple living, and the value of personal integrity and truthfulness. DR. GABRIEL URIARTE, my graduate school professor who thoroughly changed my views on learning. He removed the stiffness/stringency and ease my tiring effort to always prove something. I was led to appreciate learning in the absence of pressure. BO SANCHEZ who taught me marvelous things about God’s manifestation of Love. He encourages me to follow God and deepen my personal relationship with him. Truly a great relationship guru who made me value my relationships most especially with my husband. MARIA PAZ MAGSALIN, one of my life coaches who taught me about strength of character, passion towards work, generosity and the cool harmony of being sweet and strong! PAPA, MAMA & GRANNY, who taught me about life, hardwork, and sacrifice. Through them our home became my source of comfort, strength, happiness and consolation. My husband BILLIE who taught me how great love can be. He led me to appreciate myself more and keep a positive disposition. He was my number one coach who never fails to support me in pursuing my God-given dreams and mission.

These people are God’s voice in my life. The voices that keep reminding me that God is ever present and His love is constant!

I THANK GOD FOR YOU ALL!

T W O

It’s the first day of October! It’s Abbie’s 2nd birthday! I now have a “terrible two” – my darling abbietot! As a mom, i find this day a lot more special than my own birthday. I think that makes sense for all moms out there... it’s just that giving is essentially greater than receiving! I am grateful for receiving the opportunity to live but I am deeply and most grateful for the opportunity to give life to another. I actually find it challenging to express how I truly appreciate my being a mom to abbie. But more or less this is how I feel right now. Amidst the crisis that most of the Filipino families are going through right now because of the aftermath of typhoon Ondoy, we decided to celebrate abbie’s birthday in a special way. Yes, bil and i decided to splurge a bit... but with a cause! We have invited a lot of kids to join abbie this coming Saturday. We will give them food, gifts, prizes and lots of fun and excitement! As a mom, i just can’t let abbie’s birthday pass without a celebration! Life indeed offers a lot of reasons to celebrate! For all the joys she has brought to our life, she so deserves the best! I will be writing my birthday wish for abbie for her second birthday! I am so amazed day by day as i watch her grow and develop.

All is set and planned. I pray for a good weather so the children can freely play and Have fun!

I said a special prayer for abbie! As i recall my experiences 2 years ago, I can’t help but become a little teary and sentimental. What i went through is really intense and I thank God I had the courage to go through it all. But looking back, i would have not wanted it any other way. I am a proud mom of a super kulit, wonderful little girl who keeps telling me “mommy love you”, and who embraces me tightly and kisses me! My little abbietot is so sweet and adorable!

it's high time to cast off hesitation & revive confidence

Life offers opportunities and it’s truly up to us if we grab or let go of them. I may have a lot of anxieties that make me doubt my own potentials. I was forced to think that i have lost my confidence for some reasons. I am not the person I used to be... someone who is brave, risk taker, esteemed and so sure of oneself.

Now I am given another chance to show my potential. I don’t want to fail. I am determined to give my best and prepare for the event. This is a time to shine. I should grab it and just be thankful for the trust and opportunity given to me. I am taking the role with a light heart. I want to be prepared physically, mentally and emotionally.

There are people who believe I can do it. These people are those who are dearest to me – my family, mentors and friends. Their support will help me make it through.
I know I can do it. I just need to revive my confidence and make myself realize how blessed I am. And that I ought to hone my God given talents and share it with others.

I can hardly believe I have somehow excelled in public speaking. I was terribly bad in declamations and oral recitations way back in grade school and high school. I tried my best to learn. With the help of my professors and mentors, I was able to acquire skills and develop confidence.

Now is my time to shine. I am taking this chance. With the help of Jesus, I know I can make it. I will carry myself in a poised manner. I won’t let negative nor self-defeating thoughts get in the way. This can be a gateway to more opportunities. This can be one of the biggest pipelines for God’s blessings.

Jesus, please help me. I will give my best, please do the rest for me. I trust in you!

Our Comfy Love

Prayer for a Happy Married Life… as I recite this prayer every night before I sleep, I feel so certain that every wife or husband really needs God’s grace to be able to maintain “happiness” in their relationship. I’ve been married for two years and six months, such a short period of time as most people would say. Though such, I believe I already possess some authority to talk about “loving relationship” and how comfortable it can get.

Just like any other relationship, ours has its own share of ups and downs. There are the good days and the not so good days. One can be sweet today then be soooo annoying the next day! I welcome all these unique experiences, complexities of situations, clashing of attitudes, disagreements, as well as our individual craziness, sumpong at topak!


While we have our own right to our individual craziness, we make sure we put a little more patience and understanding each day in dealing with each other. This is not easy! This is something we strive to learn and relearn and something we really work hard for. For me, this means being sensitive to his needs, being watchful of my words, feeling what he feels, and respecting his views.


But apart from all these – we have fun, shared interests, selflessness, and great communication. And I can confidently say that we enjoy simply being together! If I have to decide on something, I make sure we talk things out first. I give him the respect he deserves. We talk about everything and make sure that we don’t argue about finances. The amount of time and attention we give to each other is our greatest investment in life. Our marriage is our priority and believe me there are no tradeoffs when it comes to time spent with the family.


Truly after the wedding, it’s all about the marriage. Having known each other for the past nine years prior to marriage, I can say that there were few adjustments made. They said that marriage does not change a person and will even magnify what is already there. True enough… my husband being a kind person as he used to be, is now even kinder and more caring than ever. His goodness has been magnified in so many ways.


I just make sure I do my part. If there is one goal I want to achieve in this life, it would be this – “to make my husband a happy man”. Yes I say this with a lot of conviction and I will direct my actions and decisions toward this and even go out of my way to make sure this happens.


Our love has never been so comfortable!

My Weekly Time with God

THANK YOU LIST - Things to be grateful for from the past week:

1. My cough which allowed me to take extra rest periods physically and mentally
2. I had a wonderful time with my college best friends. Though it was our despidida dinner for yhen, it also served as an opportunity to manifest care for one another. I would love to read fatty’s text message after our dinner… “And then there were 3. Life is truly full of surprises and twists. Shy, Tonet, may we find strength and inspiration to move on and still keep our sisterhood alive, love u. nyt.” My reply is an affirmation, I said "yes let’s get together more often and keep this alive!"
3. Pentecost – I heard a very meaningful homily from Fr. Mario Sobrejuanite. He said a lot of good things and few of them really hit me. Worries don’t do anything with the problem but they take away my strength. Worry ends where faith begins. I admit I have been harboring a lot of worries for a long time now. I don’t want to be neurotic but the anxiety keeps growing everyday. Yes, the answer is so simple… I lack faith where I am right now, I need to be redirected back to Jesus, in a true way! As I attended the mass yesterday, I made a decision to receive the Holy Spirit, acknowledged my weaknesses and my tendency to fall to sin and fail Jesus. I am opening my heart and my mind. I am allowing my God to take over, to make me a person inspired by His spirit – gentle, kind, loving, forgiving, patient and joyful!
4. We finally find time and urge to clean our house! Getting rid of naparaming kalat, basura, things we no longer need gave me a feeling of relief. Nice to breathe clean air and love to look at my clean dresser.
5. The time spent with abbie and the whole family. There was never a boring moment when abbie is awake! She takes our breath away, makes us laugh our hearts out and amazes us so mmmuuuccch! The way she talks and dances and walks… everything about her is something to be really grateful for!
6. Kuya letting me borrow Teety - of course this always counts as a blessing! Gives me a lot of comfort and ease. I am able to do personal errands and get home early and be with abbie.

SPECIAL NEEDS - Things to ask God for in the coming week:

1. I pray that I may keep this desire to rise above my habitual tardiness.
2. that I receive the fire of the Holy Spirit and keep it burning in my soul. I know my plans need some prodding from the Spirit. There are many things that I like to do and hope for. I know that the only way I can start turning them into reality is by asking for divine guidance so that I can align my plans with God’s greater plans for my life.
3. that little by little I may strive to be the person I intend to be (gentle, kind, loving, forgiving, patient and joyful) and to treat everyone with kindness and respect – keep my lamp burning by putting more oil in it!
4. that I may understand my husband’s work schedule
5. that I may manage well my finances and comply with my list of things to do
6. that I may start my regular exercise, watch what I eat and consistently devote prayer time before sleep
7. I ask for providence for our driveway and plot construction project in Cavite. Praying that we find resources and help so we can finish this project. That papa will not be stressed or pressured. I pray that he just be happy, excited and relaxed. That our workers be physically healthy and strong. That weather would be kind enough to allow the cement to dry.
8. safety and good health for the whole family
9. more contribution in my work and enough motivation to work on my thesis
10. more smile on my face and a positive outlook and a steadfast heart
    

HIDDEN TREASURE - Most important word God told me this week:

Never be afraid! I am with you always and I will not cease loving you! I want you to prosper so I am giving you everything you need. Just look around you, use your gifts and have patience!

My JOY List!

We need to fill our life with much happiness as we can. We need to respect ourselves, love ourselves and meet our needs for joy so we can do the same for others…
MY own JOY LIST!

What makes me happy?

1. Hearing the laughter of my baby! She laughs like her mom – really loud!


2. Clean room, clean bed sheets and soft pillows


3. Dinner and long chat with my friends


4. Long or short vacations with family and friends… as long as we have time off from work and routine and just spend time together talking, laughing and eating.


5. Eating healthy food – more veggies and fruits


6. Kissing my baby’s cheek and saying “love you abbietot”… many times a day.


7. A good warm bath before I sleep. This is different from my morning bath where I am so in a hurry. This bath time allows me to use my bath gel, body scrub and body moisturizers and everything that can make me feel smoother, more beautiful and sweet-scented!


8. Cooking a special, healthy meal for my family


9. Organizing my kikay stuff and making sure I have all my fave things inside like my lip balm, liquid foundation, lip and cheek color, mascara, and oil blotter)


10. Indulging in my cravings – spicy sampaloc, dark chocolate, pitted prunes, kare-kare, crispy pata, beef kaldereta, raisins, minatamis na saba or saging con yelo!


11. Grocery time with the family


12. Our bedroom! My place of prayer, solace and connection with my family. When I kiss bil and abbie goodnight… when I watch them sleeping… I’m just so sure that this is the best place to be!


13. Saying “I love you” to my husband several times a day


14. Buying gifts or pasalubong for my family


15. Watching a kilig movie


16. Waking up in the morning with my baby and husband beside me – makes me feel so blessed in life!


17. Enough sleep (8-10 hours)


18. Shopping for new baby clothes and shoes… my wants become secondary to abbie! Though I feel a lot better buying stuff for both of us… and of course a little something for daddy too!


19. Regular dates with billie – spa, restaurant, movie, out-of-town trips


20. Taking photos, taking photos, taking photos…


21. Uploading photos, organizing photos, posting photos… it relaxes me whenever I deal with photos!


22. Cool breeze touching my face


23. Fuji apples and carrots fresh from my juicer


24. Browsing over photos / photo albums


25. Receiving gifts – it never fails to feel good when I receive presents, makes me feel special and remembered!


26. Hearing Christmas songs being played – this gives an instant feeling of lightness and gladness! A true heart cheerer!


27. Unexpected lunch dates with my husband amid the hustles of a working day


28. Hugs and kisses of abbie


29. Specialties of papa – (beef stew, tenderloin steak, we simply call it lomo, sisig, grilled stuffed squid, bangus and tuna belly!) granny (kare-kare, menudo, lumpiang shanghai, embutido, ube halaya, atchara, maja) and mama’s special torta and sinigang!


30. Kuya’s panlilibre!


31. Praying for my loved ones, praying with my husband before sleeping


32. Unstoppable chika of mama, walang kupas stories! Paulit ulit nga lang hehehe!


33. Singing (magic sing!) with my sister and husband


34. Visiting a bookstore to buy books, notebooks and those really cute, fine pens!


35. Listening to Bo’s inspirational CDs during my morning drive to work


36. Slice of yummy moist chocolate cake


37. Attending Sunday mass with the family


38. An inspiring homily


39. Accompanying my parents in their regular check-up… makes me feel great inside for being able to do something good in return.


40. Reading my daily soulfood and Godwhispers


41. A high place overlooking the beauty of God’s creations


42. Listening to the animated tales and jokes of my friend racqs


43. Baguette bread shared with my papa


44. Playing computer games with my husband… we join forces to combat the computer, minsan di pa namin matalo, kainis!


45. Watching videos of abbie on my celfone during waiting and tensed moments…


46. Blogging my thoughts, reflections and experiences


47. Jesuit music for meditation


48. Reading smart parenting magazines


49. Knowing I have made someone smile


50. Birthday celebrations


51. My Selphy Canon Digital Photo Printer! Great photos! i love the vibrant colors! It has made printing one of my best de-stressing moments!


52. Spa - steam bath and a whole body massage

Sunday's made special!

My day started with a TV mass celebrated by fr. Mario Sobrejuanite. Bil and I listened to a very good and inspiring sermon. I was also successful in motivating myself to workout because i did step on my piece of exercise equipment. And generally I had a wonderful day because i spent it with my little abbietot. It was tiring because i tried to maximize my time by taking care of her while cleaning and organizing our room. I did finish dusting the bookshelf and dresser but the room has lots of kalat pa rin. At least i got things done despite abbie’s kakulitan. The best thing is that we were able to attend mass tonight with kuya, osh and granny. It was a good Sunday and i feel so blessed. Thank you Lord for this day most especially for the time i spent with my baby. She truly is a great source of joy and love! I just want to be with her, take care of her, play with her and talk to her. It’s just so amazing how she gets to communicate clearly. I am super amazed with the way she talks, reacts at certain things, dances and does funny faces and things! A 16th month old baby, toddler na pala, doing all these things and responding in wonderful ways! Thank you Lord!

my thoughts on...

sharing my thoughts on things that matter to me...

Motherhood: I had to go through a caesarian delivery because the baby is too big for my pelvis. This freed me from prolonged and harder labor and saved my baby from distress. Now I see a vertical, dark scar on my belly but I bear this with pride – this is what a mother’s courage look like!

Baby: a captivating being who makes life better, drains my stress and when she displays her cherubic smile, she instantly gets us wrapped around her little fingers

Pure Pleasure: the smell of my baby’s skin, looking at my baby’s face and seeing how she resembles me, hugging my husband, the touch of my baby’s little palm and fingers on my face

Perfect day: a day spent with my husband and baby! It’s perfect when you’re with the person you love. Everything else is just icing on the cake. It helps to be on a beautiful beach but if I find myself stuck in traffic, waiting for a ride or lining up in the grocery (fantastic times of bonding yata to), I couldn’t care less as long as my husband is with me.

Turning 30: I welcome another chapter in my life. I feel good about myself for having really lived my 20’s – tough experiences and choices, major decisions in life, life changing events – work, marriage and motherhood!

Best Moment: my bridal walk, wearing my best smile …and seeing my husband with tears welling in his eyes as he waits for me at the altar; seeing my newborn baby for the first time
Marriage: a blessed life and relationship, generates a feeling of being generously blessed and truly loved! A great marriage is a lifetime struggle. For me as a wife it means, prioritizing our dates, understanding his weaknesses and faults, accepting our differences, going the extra mile to express my love, thinking together, leading him closer to God. Marriage is where God’s best blessings dwell, this I truly believe. With this, we are able to overcome hardships, cope with child rearing challenges, communicate well, and even have fun and spontaneous good times together.

Words of Wisdom: Love your family. Let’s celebrate our family every single day – while the moment still matters, while the time still counts.

Mommy's Birthday Wishes for Abbie

My dear darling abbie,

The whole family celebrates your birthday today. Everyone is so happy and excited. Daddy and mommy decided to celebrate it with Jollibee! Relatives, friends, mga ninong at ninang came to greet you a Happy Happy Birthday. Syempre we are so proud of you. Look at you now… so beautiful, healthy and loveable baby! We were amazed to see you smiling at everyone. For us, it means that you truly appreciate your party.

Abbie, you are the greatest gift I have received from God. This means God blessed me with a child because I am worthy to become a “mother”. And you know what, I will give my best and devote my life to prove myself worthy of God’s trust. I pray that I may be guided so I can be a good mother to you.

Here are my birthday wishes for you baby ko:

1. For you to be healthy and strong. Nothing beats the “good feeling” whenever I see you actively playing, laughing out loud, or sleeping well! I hate the bad cough and colds that give you discomfort. You know I was super concerned of your health when you were inside my tummy. I ate lots of fruits and veggies, no softdrinks, tea and coffee, no chichiria, no tocino, hotdog because of their preservatives, no swets - chocolates and cakes. I took my vitamins diligently with the help of your daddy. All these and more give me enough reason why I should be equally concerned with what you will be eating and drinking now that you are 1. I really hope you will like eating fruits and vegetables.

2. For you to be surrounded with love. This love would definitely come from daddy and me, and the whole family. You are so loved and everyone in the family is so fond of you. Ang dami nag-aalaga syo, si granny na lagi mong kasama, si papa at mama na laging lumuluwas sa Manila para makita at maalagaan ka, si tata na lagi kang ginigising, tito boo na lagi kang nililipad “fly baby fly”, si ninang osh nalagi kang kinakarga at marami pang iba tulad ng mga ninang at ninong na cute na cute syo! - I know you feel the wonderful, big LOVE surrounding you and I pray that this will make you feel you are special! While we make sure we provide for your needs as you grow, we will also be concerned with the more important things like time, attention, care and understanding.

3. For you to grow reflecting to others the love you received through being cheerful, gentle in words, kind, generous, and loving. If I would be asked to write my dreams for you, then this would most likely consist the biggest part of it. God entrusted us with a life that is YOU and I would like to be worthy of the trust by leading you to His path, helping you become a good person - “mabuti, responsable at mapagmahal na tao”.

These are my wishes for you and I know I am guided by the spirit as I write them down. That’s the reason why I feel confident that these wishes are blessed and will always be remembered by God.

Happy birthday abbietot, i love you very much! mwaaaahhhhh! :-)

Motherhood is changing meee...

NOW...

1. I keep on collecting information that will ensure the well-being of my baby. I read a lot about baby’s development through my psychology books and magazines (I like Smart Parenting) and I’m starting to get serious in gaining knowledge on investments, savings, and businesses.
2. I’m striving for better time management. I am forced to manage my days in a whole new way. I simply can’t focus only on the things I want to do. When I’m home my sched depends on abbie’s activities.
3. I believe once again in the things I believed in as a child.
4. I’ve seen great wonder in a simple smile! (When abbie smiles, everything lightens up instantly!)
5. My heart breaks much more easily. I am more sensitive and sentimental.
6. Every day is a surprise… baby’s development has never been this up close and awe inspiring.
7. I fell all the more in love with cameras and photos! I love collecting memories through pics!
8. I know for sure that true joy doesn't come from getting what I want and buying what I like. It’s the loving sacrifice that gives me a sense of deep fulfillment and joy!
9. I’d rather buy baby stuff than those shoes, bags or clothes that I’ve been dying to have.
10. I don't mind staying home on weekends! No trade offs when it comes to time and attention I give to my family.
11. I realize that the excess weight and baby belly I can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having.
12. Our dog patsy patutu - who used to be our “baby” — becomes just a dog.
13. I take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means I'll be late or even super super late.
14. I see the world through someone else’s eyes
15. I could spend hours…long hours in baby sections of shopping malls. And buying something for abbie gives me superb satisfaction.
    

in the coming days

I still have no idea what it really means to be a mother. All I know right now is that we are expecting a new member of the family, a bundle of joy in the coming days! I feel the strong movements of our baby abbie. Truly there is life within and this miracle of life is about to unfold. Questions enter my mind – how would I know if it is TIME already? How painful labor pains are? Will I be good in pushing, how brave can I get to go through all these? How is it like seeing and feeling her the first time? How does a mother feel when she finally gets hold of her baby? What kind of a mother would I be?

After 9 months of taking care of my health, watching what I eat and drink, taking vitamins, doing things extra carefully, etc. – the fruit of hardwork and sacrifice is finally here – it will be made visible and real soon!

Maybe after writing this, a lot of things are bound to change. I may not have time to be by myself – writing, reading, doing the things that I like, because I will surely be a busy mom. I will be devoting my time to my baby. By that time I will truly understand what selflessness means. I may see things in a different light but whatever change may take place, I’m certain of one thing – motherhood always makes a woman better than ever!

With prayer and trust in Jesus, all the things that bother me will dissipate. The things that I hope for shall unfold and everything shall fall in its proper place. Whatever I’m going through is part of God’s plan for me and Billie. This alone gives me an assurance that I will be able to pull through.

I will have a safe and happy delivery and I’m on my way to becoming a super mommy!

My Gut-Level Decisions

This is my personal list of gut-level, nitty-gritty decisions for my life.

1. I’ll have more quite times of solitude, prayer and reflection.
2. I’ll be faithful in writing my journal.
3. I’ll read books and listen to audio talks about spirituality and family
4. I’ll keep in touch with my friends regularly.
5. I’ll have regular dates with family and friends.
6. I’ll continue my regular exercise, dance class and add some more crunches
7. I’ll drink my milk at least three times a week
8. I’ll take my vitamins everyday
9. I’ll drink 8 glasses of water everyday
10. I’ll take long, deep breaths at different times during the day
11. I’ll laugh more often
12. I’ll lengthen my patience and think twice before saying a word
13. I’ll have more romantic dates with my husband
14. I’ll be more vocal about how wonderful he is
15. I’ll visit papa and mama at least once a week
16. I’ll schedule mini-vacations with family and friends
17. I’ll consistently be on top of our finances. Everything will be accounted and measured. Because what one diligently measures grows!
18. I’ll continue to share money to the Lord’s work
19. I’ll be extra sweeter to my hubby everyday
20. I’ll improve my work in the office.
21. I’ll watch the preacher in blue jeans daily episode.
22. I’ll eat more veggies and fruits and lessen beef and pork
23. I’ll focus on nourishing my relationship with my one great love – bil
24. I’ll live my life the way I want to live it!
    

My Gut Level Decisions
(inspired by the preacher in blue jeans)

Needing a Breakthrough

Current Mood: Heavy and sleepy

It's been a month since my last post. Well I've been through a lot for the past weeks. I just proved that life still puts you on a series of ups and downs regardless of your sensitive condition. Yes I am pregnant but this doesn't exempt me from experiencing stress, bustles and nuisance! I don't want to mention them one by one because that would only make me feel less OK. The most important thing for now is that I've successfully turned the situation into something good. All is well and I know that in everything that comes my way, a lot of effort is needed to compose myself, ease off and decisively control my temper! I realized I need to remain calm most of the time because the tension affects my baby! The baby's movements become rapid and strong whenever I feel uneasy and furious. I am most concerned of this. I should try my best to react positively. This post a great challenge for me. I am not used to being naive or unaffected. I am very passionate with things that concern my family and work. But I should learn to prioritize concerns. Our baby should come first! I put my best efforts to keep this life within me safe, strong and healthy - physically, emotionally, spiritually! There are no trade offs when it comes to this. I think this resolves most of the concerns that bother me.By the way, the sex of the baby still remains as a big surprise. The result of the ultrasound last month did not reveal it because the baby's thighs are covering the thing between!

Sharing My Thoughts

Current Mood: Relieved

It was last year when I made an important decision in my life. I decided to marry Bil and start a family with him. I let go of other things and focused my energy on this goal. I believe this is the decision that supports my highest values, and will make me the happiest both now and in the future. I feel that more fulfillment and joy await me.

Being 22 weeks pregnant, I still don’t know how it feels to be a mom. Probably I don’t spend much time thinking over or imagining what it’s like. But I am sure that this little life inside me will change my life and give me joy in ways I could never imagine!

Responsible parenthood seems to be the most challenging word for me nowadays! While I admit the fact that there is no school that offers a course on effective parenting, no formal trainings are provided to prepare parents to be before they assume such great responsibility, I am still confident that with an open heart and mind, one can measure up to the challenge.

I may have a little background on this – being a psychology grad, having practiced the profession for a number of years in the school setting, having attended varied seminars on parenting, having read books, and most importantly, being a witness of the ways my own parents reared me. These are not enough but I am taking my time, savoring the days as it unfolds inch by inch the multifaceted world of parenthood.

Chilling Out with Colds

My current mood: mellow, sick & worried

It’s hard to feel this way – sick and uncomfortable. For five days now, I have suffered from colds. Now I have terrible sore throat. I can barely tolerate the pain. I cannot take any medication because it might affect the baby. I am also thinking that my condition is somehow affecting my little one inside. I hope to get well soon. I’ll be resting for the whole weekend. Vitamin C, Centrum, fruit juices, lots of water, fruits seem not enough because for five days I did not feel any improvement at all. I pray to Jesus to please take away this virus. I pray that my baby will be protected.

Getting the Balance

Current Mood: Reflective

I make sure I feel my days with laughter, giggles and fill my mind with positive thoughts because I know that this effort generates a feeling of well-being and happiness. But honestly, even if I try to keep myself from the negatives, I still find myself feeling down at times. I am becoming too sensitive and can be classified as a crybaby. Fear sets in and it is accompanied by varied emotions and feelings! It's quite hard to keep the balance. I just acknowledge the fact that this is the moment of my life when I find myself needing and wanting a lot of emotional and physical support. The constant reassurances from my husband make me feel secure and happy.

Amidst the negatives, I consider myself lucky because of the convenience and comfort that I am experiencing while being pregnant! And mostly I thank God and my family for being able to enjoy my journey through pregnancy. Let me just write them down so I can always remember the sweetness and comfort: I am able to eat the food that I want, able to have more time for sleep and relaxation, able to wake up and see breakfast ready on my table, enjoy a warm bath, be in a clean and nice bathroom (it eases the feeling of throwing up), choose and wear dresses I like, enjoy my weekends like a princess, able to watch movies I like, able to play my music, able to spend time with friends, able to find time to write my journal, able to have time for prayer, able to read good books, enjoy the privileges of being a kerygma family member (this one helps me deepen my personal relationship with God), and many many more.

My Little Baby Belly

my current mood: Good

my little baby belly is now showing and i just enjoy dressing up the maternity way! for many years now, i was used to wearing pants and blouses! i am definitely changing my line of clothing! am starting to fill my closet with dresses that come in varied colors, designs and styles! my hubby loves to see me wearing them and i for one love it because it makes me feel so proud to be an expecting mom! from the time i knew i was preggy, i've always been proud and happy to tell people of my condition. i was the one spreading the good news to family, friends, officemates, and relatives. The confidence i have in me makes me feel better every passing day!

Here Comes The Aches

my current mood: Uncomfortable

this morning im beginning to feel the symptoms of "round ligament pain" - i have bellyaches, there is pain in my lower abdomen. This is due to stretched ligaments and muscles that support my ever-growing uterus! My baby is really getting bigger and this is the moment I have been waiting for. I keep on looking at my abdomen, anticipating the time when I can really feel there is something inside me... Now am in a maternity dress and I feel good. When people look at me, they know right away that I am preggy and as a proud mom to be, i do feel good about it!

Coping with The Common Troubles of Pregnancy

For the past 8 weeks, I've been trying to cope with the common troubles of pregnancy - nausea, throwing up, headache, stomach pain, back pain, low appetite, super sensitive sense of smell, and many more inconveniences! I feel terribly weak! However, the good thing is that I'm not becoming irritable and moody. I can still manage my mood and I find myself feeling positive and happy most of the time (but I do complain a lot hehehe!) I just feel so thankful to have a very supportive, patient, and kind hubby! He's been helping me cope with all the changes and physical discomfort. The hardest and most unusual thing to feel is the loss of appetite. It's strange how I begin to dislike things which I normally like for so many years now. I like spicy food but can hardly tolerate the taste of pepper and spice now. Kare-kare is one of my fave dishes but I feel like throwing up with just the thought of it. Since college days, I do not prefer cold water. I usually like the taste of hot and warm water. Now, I can't drink hot beverages... I go for super cold water and juices.

Looking Forward to A Bright New Future

There exists the reality that big days are yet to come… the sparkle does not stop at the end of the wedding night. We are looking forward to more loving moments and memories as husband and wife as we build our life together!

While I make sure I wear a great wedding gown, dainty pair of shoes or put on a good make-up, I still believe that the best way to look dazzling on my wedding day is to radiate the internal feeling of being generously blessed and truly loved! My wedding day will signify a very important event in my life... I am now prepared to start a new life with the man whom I’ve chosen to spend the rest of my life with! :-)

Keeping in Mind the Big Picture

For the past 10 months, we’ve been very busy with the wedding preparations. Now it's only 3 days to go and I feel a GuSh of exCitEmeNt and nervousness entirely transfused… causing an emotionally raveling experience! WOW we’re almost there… and at this point, I want to look at the BIG PICTURE and leave the nitty-gritty – we’re done with the details na kakastress ehehe!
We certainly want to put on a good celebration. We hope things work out well but whatever happens, (this is what we've been telling ourselves over and over, hehehe!) we’ll just keep in mind that the most important part of the day is our MARRIAGE and our LOVE for each other period.

A Very Busy but Very BLISSful Time of My Life

We’re almost done with the preparations. The planning was long and there was a great deal of stress involved in it! We felt happy, excited, frustrated, angry, anxious, kaloka talaga! Pero ok lang because these are natural part of the planning process. Making decisions has never been easy for me. Decisions must be done from the big things down to the little ones… ceremony, reception venue, caterer, photographer, videographer, cake design, types of flowers, motif, wedding ring design, gowns, shoes, hair accessories, at madami pang iba.

I felt tensed, I got antsy ...who wouldn't feel like this? It’s just normal, am still the same person that I've always been... In my effort to feel relaxed, I pampered myself – deep breaths, hot oil treatment, foot spa, taking a stroll, writing my thoughts, talking with family and friends, etc. lahat na yata naisip ko just to feel better and have that fresher perspective!

I feel so grateful to Jesus for making all these happen, for giving me supportive family and friends, for keeping bil and I strong physically, emotionally and spiritually! THE JOINING OF TWO LIVES AND TWO HEARTS WILL NOT BE MEANINGFUL AND COMPLETE WITHOUT GOD'S BLESSING AND INTERVENTION! I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS PROUD AS A WOMAN! THANK GOD FOR HIS PROVIDENCE AND THANK YOU BILLIE FOR SEEING ME AS A WOMAN WORTHY OF YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND RESPECT!

Thoughts About Our Prenup...

We had our prenup last October 11. My idea of our prenup is like this... that it will be more of the greenfields, beside the big trees, near the lagoon,etc.etc... Our prenup generally went well despite the rainfall. I have learned so much from this experience. When things don't go exactly the way you planned, you just have to let go and enjoy the moment! I can't explain what happened last wednesday. I knew that I was expecting more from the prenup but I did not get disappointed at all with what actually took place. With the limited location we had, we were able to make the most out of it! Big THANKS to our dear friends - Reian, She, Osh, Glenn, Mayee and Miguel. We were so grateful for what they did for us! I guess this experience provided a glimpse of how we should deal with things during the Big Day! We cannot expect things to go smoothly and perfectly even if we invest so much time in the preparations. What we need is a positive attitude! This will assure us that whatever circumstance comes along the way, we will just smile at it and let things be. We shouldn't neglect the more essential ones - the presence of family and friends, ako at si billie ...and God blessing our marriage and our lifetime commitment to love each other!

Finally... A Personalized Invite

At last, we have the final draft of the invitation... the wordings are unique coz we (the Dream Team of course) we're the ones who made it! We love it and we're so proud of what we've accomplished! The draft will be submitted to QP Designs at Megamall this Saturday!

Wedding Expo Fever!

woohooh ;-) Yesterday, we went to the Wedding Expo at PICC! i was amazed because we were able to book a lot of suppliers. Pretty strange coz we went there to book only minor suppliers like acclaim for the butterfly release at the church; but unexpected things happen... we end up changing our caterer and makeup artist.

We love attending wedding expos and bridal fairs. It's a one stop shop that allows you to get the best deals from suppliers! We met lanie acedillo (she's pretty) and we booked her on the spot. I have a prior sked for my trial hair and makeup with Val Villarin. But Lanie was our first choice and we're impressed by her background (she had her training at CLAMAR, ICI Institute, L'oreal Academy, Toni and Guy Singapore, etc.); hence, when we found out that she's offering a 20% discount on her package and THMU, we did not have second thoughts of settling the reservation. To be fair with Val, we immediately informed him of our decision to cancel our sked so he'll be able to accommodate other brides. It's not that we have made whimsy decisions but we weighed things carefully and we're unable to resist the tempting offer - lotsa freebies, discounts and nice packages!... plus we got more chances of winning in the raffle - trip to hongkong and bangkok!After the wedding expo, we had ocular inspections of three hotels along makati avenue: Astor, Milleniumm Plaza, and City Garden... These were the most accessible hotels so far. We checked the one bedroom suite and took pictures as well. We want to consider other hotels before deciding.

Making the Most Out of the DAY! Woohooh

Hellowee! We have accomplished a lot for today! Though I feel so tired, it’s still worth all the effort.


We visited the Church. This time we have Reian and Osh with us. We asked ate Rose, parish office secretary regarding the inclusions of the church fee. Waaah, the flowers for the church are not included…we’ll be the one to provide pala hehehe! Further, we asked regarding restrictions/rules when it comes to video and photo shoot! Good thing…the church is very lenient when it comes to this. We can set up the lights...take pictures anywhere within the premises, and begin with the preparations, flower arrangement, etc. as early as possible.

Next stop… Ramon Magsaysay Center, Roxas Boulevard. We went to check the reception venue since we need to consider the size of the hall and the possible design that would reflect the celestial theme of the wedding. More importantly, to create a festive mood bcoz we want to provide a happy and memorable experience for the guests and the bridal party alike. We are thinking of placing the following :
- centerpiece with shooting star picks
- Bowl filled with stars (star-shaped folded papers with love wishes inside) ill post this in my DIY corner once it’s done… am super excited about this project!
- Star confetti on tables
- Star-shaped candle holders or floating candles
The cake will be staged on a special table near the presidential table. It will be elevated on a large platter to make it more prominent. We have to discuss yet the backdrop - foliage, flowers, screens or fabric... later part n lang.
We’re also considering to flank the entrance with grand floral arrangement, create a tulle canopy, strew the floor with rose petals, put hanging twinkle lights, place a focal accent made up of hanging crystal stars of different sizes and heights… hirap to ah… I hope I am able create a clear picture in your mind hahaha!

It’s still an hour and a half before 12…ayaw pa nila maglunch...kaya naman...OFF TO BINONDO! For the sake of curiosity, I wanted to know why Unifair is so popular among the Brides 2 be in the W@W Forum. Kaya pala… We met Erwin Tiu, General Manager of Unifair… He’s very outspoken! I like dealing with people like him. He presented a lot of options and recommended what he thinks is best. He even gave me a sample of the design I chose. I visited a lot of suppliers already – printsonalities, write impressions, printed matter, QP… Im just glad we took time to visit Unifair. The types of invitations are similar to that of the other suppliers… same design, paper, print, etc. but they offer a more reasonable price. We decided not to spend too much on invitations. I know we’ll be the only ones who’ll keep it naman. The money we can save will be used for other things. We will be preparing the final list of entourage and be back ASAP!

Along Alvarado Street, we found another supplier. Erwin was the one who referred us to Hearts and Bells Cake Artistry. Hearts&Bells offers a wide variety of choices – and to our delight, they did not charge extra costs for the extra requests I made… dami ko kasi additional requests… To create a gliterry effect, I requested for diamond studs/rhinestones to be placed on the second layer of the cake to make the quilt design more dazzling. I also requested for chains of rhinestones to surround the bottom part of each layer.

Di pa kami pagod…Off to Dangwa… we went to stall no. 16 to look for Bhoy Mahusay (well-recommended supplier by the w@wies) But honestly, we were quite disappointed. We were able to talk to his assistant, Jun Macaraig. And a lot of men claiming they were related with Bhoy Mahusay. Anyway, I was not impressed at all. We decided not to get flowers from them. it's not that we are distrustful or skeptical but it's better to get suppliers whom you think will be able to deliver well. We went to Nene's Flower Shop. Definitely a much better place. Ms. Precy ertertained us and gave us a lot of freebies! habang tumatagal...padami ng padami libre! katuwa talaga! The price is higher nga lang, nevertheless, we feel secured! hehehe!

We also went to Orchidarium to see if it's a good place to hold the pre-nuptial shoot. Sad to say, it did not pass our criteria!

What a fruitful day! Feeling accomplished n naman ang dream team!

Wedsite and More!

I spent the day in our house in Cavite. I am updating our wedsite. This is a form of relaxation for me because I enjoy what Im doing. We have a lot of things to accomplish for this week. I haven't decided yet on the supplier of the cake and invites. I hope to finalize these things within the week. Also, we are planning to check out our reception venue. Reian wants to see it so we can better conceptualize how to project a celestial ambience.