in the coming days

I still have no idea what it really means to be a mother. All I know right now is that we are expecting a new member of the family, a bundle of joy in the coming days! I feel the strong movements of our baby abbie. Truly there is life within and this miracle of life is about to unfold. Questions enter my mind – how would I know if it is TIME already? How painful labor pains are? Will I be good in pushing, how brave can I get to go through all these? How is it like seeing and feeling her the first time? How does a mother feel when she finally gets hold of her baby? What kind of a mother would I be?

After 9 months of taking care of my health, watching what I eat and drink, taking vitamins, doing things extra carefully, etc. – the fruit of hardwork and sacrifice is finally here – it will be made visible and real soon!

Maybe after writing this, a lot of things are bound to change. I may not have time to be by myself – writing, reading, doing the things that I like, because I will surely be a busy mom. I will be devoting my time to my baby. By that time I will truly understand what selflessness means. I may see things in a different light but whatever change may take place, I’m certain of one thing – motherhood always makes a woman better than ever!

With prayer and trust in Jesus, all the things that bother me will dissipate. The things that I hope for shall unfold and everything shall fall in its proper place. Whatever I’m going through is part of God’s plan for me and Billie. This alone gives me an assurance that I will be able to pull through.

I will have a safe and happy delivery and I’m on my way to becoming a super mommy!

My Gut-Level Decisions

This is my personal list of gut-level, nitty-gritty decisions for my life.

1. I’ll have more quite times of solitude, prayer and reflection.
2. I’ll be faithful in writing my journal.
3. I’ll read books and listen to audio talks about spirituality and family
4. I’ll keep in touch with my friends regularly.
5. I’ll have regular dates with family and friends.
6. I’ll continue my regular exercise, dance class and add some more crunches
7. I’ll drink my milk at least three times a week
8. I’ll take my vitamins everyday
9. I’ll drink 8 glasses of water everyday
10. I’ll take long, deep breaths at different times during the day
11. I’ll laugh more often
12. I’ll lengthen my patience and think twice before saying a word
13. I’ll have more romantic dates with my husband
14. I’ll be more vocal about how wonderful he is
15. I’ll visit papa and mama at least once a week
16. I’ll schedule mini-vacations with family and friends
17. I’ll consistently be on top of our finances. Everything will be accounted and measured. Because what one diligently measures grows!
18. I’ll continue to share money to the Lord’s work
19. I’ll be extra sweeter to my hubby everyday
20. I’ll improve my work in the office.
21. I’ll watch the preacher in blue jeans daily episode.
22. I’ll eat more veggies and fruits and lessen beef and pork
23. I’ll focus on nourishing my relationship with my one great love – bil
24. I’ll live my life the way I want to live it!
    

My Gut Level Decisions
(inspired by the preacher in blue jeans)

Needing a Breakthrough

Current Mood: Heavy and sleepy

It's been a month since my last post. Well I've been through a lot for the past weeks. I just proved that life still puts you on a series of ups and downs regardless of your sensitive condition. Yes I am pregnant but this doesn't exempt me from experiencing stress, bustles and nuisance! I don't want to mention them one by one because that would only make me feel less OK. The most important thing for now is that I've successfully turned the situation into something good. All is well and I know that in everything that comes my way, a lot of effort is needed to compose myself, ease off and decisively control my temper! I realized I need to remain calm most of the time because the tension affects my baby! The baby's movements become rapid and strong whenever I feel uneasy and furious. I am most concerned of this. I should try my best to react positively. This post a great challenge for me. I am not used to being naive or unaffected. I am very passionate with things that concern my family and work. But I should learn to prioritize concerns. Our baby should come first! I put my best efforts to keep this life within me safe, strong and healthy - physically, emotionally, spiritually! There are no trade offs when it comes to this. I think this resolves most of the concerns that bother me.By the way, the sex of the baby still remains as a big surprise. The result of the ultrasound last month did not reveal it because the baby's thighs are covering the thing between!

Sharing My Thoughts

Current Mood: Relieved

It was last year when I made an important decision in my life. I decided to marry Bil and start a family with him. I let go of other things and focused my energy on this goal. I believe this is the decision that supports my highest values, and will make me the happiest both now and in the future. I feel that more fulfillment and joy await me.

Being 22 weeks pregnant, I still don’t know how it feels to be a mom. Probably I don’t spend much time thinking over or imagining what it’s like. But I am sure that this little life inside me will change my life and give me joy in ways I could never imagine!

Responsible parenthood seems to be the most challenging word for me nowadays! While I admit the fact that there is no school that offers a course on effective parenting, no formal trainings are provided to prepare parents to be before they assume such great responsibility, I am still confident that with an open heart and mind, one can measure up to the challenge.

I may have a little background on this – being a psychology grad, having practiced the profession for a number of years in the school setting, having attended varied seminars on parenting, having read books, and most importantly, being a witness of the ways my own parents reared me. These are not enough but I am taking my time, savoring the days as it unfolds inch by inch the multifaceted world of parenthood.

Chilling Out with Colds

My current mood: mellow, sick & worried

It’s hard to feel this way – sick and uncomfortable. For five days now, I have suffered from colds. Now I have terrible sore throat. I can barely tolerate the pain. I cannot take any medication because it might affect the baby. I am also thinking that my condition is somehow affecting my little one inside. I hope to get well soon. I’ll be resting for the whole weekend. Vitamin C, Centrum, fruit juices, lots of water, fruits seem not enough because for five days I did not feel any improvement at all. I pray to Jesus to please take away this virus. I pray that my baby will be protected.

Getting the Balance

Current Mood: Reflective

I make sure I feel my days with laughter, giggles and fill my mind with positive thoughts because I know that this effort generates a feeling of well-being and happiness. But honestly, even if I try to keep myself from the negatives, I still find myself feeling down at times. I am becoming too sensitive and can be classified as a crybaby. Fear sets in and it is accompanied by varied emotions and feelings! It's quite hard to keep the balance. I just acknowledge the fact that this is the moment of my life when I find myself needing and wanting a lot of emotional and physical support. The constant reassurances from my husband make me feel secure and happy.

Amidst the negatives, I consider myself lucky because of the convenience and comfort that I am experiencing while being pregnant! And mostly I thank God and my family for being able to enjoy my journey through pregnancy. Let me just write them down so I can always remember the sweetness and comfort: I am able to eat the food that I want, able to have more time for sleep and relaxation, able to wake up and see breakfast ready on my table, enjoy a warm bath, be in a clean and nice bathroom (it eases the feeling of throwing up), choose and wear dresses I like, enjoy my weekends like a princess, able to watch movies I like, able to play my music, able to spend time with friends, able to find time to write my journal, able to have time for prayer, able to read good books, enjoy the privileges of being a kerygma family member (this one helps me deepen my personal relationship with God), and many many more.

My Little Baby Belly

my current mood: Good

my little baby belly is now showing and i just enjoy dressing up the maternity way! for many years now, i was used to wearing pants and blouses! i am definitely changing my line of clothing! am starting to fill my closet with dresses that come in varied colors, designs and styles! my hubby loves to see me wearing them and i for one love it because it makes me feel so proud to be an expecting mom! from the time i knew i was preggy, i've always been proud and happy to tell people of my condition. i was the one spreading the good news to family, friends, officemates, and relatives. The confidence i have in me makes me feel better every passing day!

Here Comes The Aches

my current mood: Uncomfortable

this morning im beginning to feel the symptoms of "round ligament pain" - i have bellyaches, there is pain in my lower abdomen. This is due to stretched ligaments and muscles that support my ever-growing uterus! My baby is really getting bigger and this is the moment I have been waiting for. I keep on looking at my abdomen, anticipating the time when I can really feel there is something inside me... Now am in a maternity dress and I feel good. When people look at me, they know right away that I am preggy and as a proud mom to be, i do feel good about it!

Coping with The Common Troubles of Pregnancy

For the past 8 weeks, I've been trying to cope with the common troubles of pregnancy - nausea, throwing up, headache, stomach pain, back pain, low appetite, super sensitive sense of smell, and many more inconveniences! I feel terribly weak! However, the good thing is that I'm not becoming irritable and moody. I can still manage my mood and I find myself feeling positive and happy most of the time (but I do complain a lot hehehe!) I just feel so thankful to have a very supportive, patient, and kind hubby! He's been helping me cope with all the changes and physical discomfort. The hardest and most unusual thing to feel is the loss of appetite. It's strange how I begin to dislike things which I normally like for so many years now. I like spicy food but can hardly tolerate the taste of pepper and spice now. Kare-kare is one of my fave dishes but I feel like throwing up with just the thought of it. Since college days, I do not prefer cold water. I usually like the taste of hot and warm water. Now, I can't drink hot beverages... I go for super cold water and juices.